At my father’s funeral, I was sitting with my 5-year-old son. While the pastor was offering prayers, he grabbed my hand and whispered, “Mommy… we shouldn’t be here.” “Why?” I asked. The pastor said, trembling, “Did you see grandpa’s neck?” After I looked at my father’s neck, I immediately went to the police with my son…

At my father’s funeral, I was sitting with my 5-year-old son.
While the pastor was offering prayers, he grabbed my hand and whispered, “Mommy… we shouldn’t be here.”
“Why?” I asked.
The pastor said, trembling, “Did you see grandpa’s neck?”
After I looked at my father’s neck, I immediately went to the police with my son…

The church smelled like lilies and old wood, the way funerals always do—too sweet, too still. I sat in the second row with my five-year-old son, Noah, his small legs swinging above the floor because his feet couldn’t reach. He wore a black sweater that made him look smaller than he already was. Every few minutes he leaned into my side, not fully understanding death, only understanding that the adults were broken in a way he couldn’t fix.

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